oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
