So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What a dumb baby whore.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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