Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
