Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Green mimosas i think yes
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
