but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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