Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
