Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
