So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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