everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
