it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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