Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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