Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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