They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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