I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
