Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
