i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
