My brain says no but my pants say off.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
