What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
