he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
