addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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