Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
