Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They took my balls.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
