Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
