should my penis look like a turkey
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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