Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my shit smells like andre
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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