I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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