if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
this hospital has no fireball
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
