4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
