You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
