it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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