I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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