I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
