Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
