once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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