i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
