the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
