Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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