i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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