wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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