My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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