Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
