but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
mondays should just be called national damage control day
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
