Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
