Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
