Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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