He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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