it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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