You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
