Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
