writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
