so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
