Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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