Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
