We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
