woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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