took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
